


Kindness

by BalloonBalls



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, someone's got a potty mouth in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 01:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14885363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BalloonBalls/pseuds/BalloonBalls
Summary: A quiet night at the familiar coffee shop, a sleep deprived Akechi, and a worrywart Akira.





	Kindness

Kindness should just be erased from the world. It's nothing but a weakness for anyone and everyone. Those who show kindness are weak to the one they are showing it to, and the one who is receiving becomes in the other's debt. Kindness is just a vicious cycle of vulnerability and eventual pain and suffering at the end of the day. So then why did the human race still act kind to one another? Animals only fight for themselves, a dog eat dog world, so why should humans be any different? 

Because humans are a lot different from animals. Animals can't comprehend a human mentality and it's cognition. Animals don't feel the same desires, pressures, and stresses that humanity does. One thing that humanity wants more than anything is love, validation, acceptance, kindness. Humans have been social creatures for as long as time will tell. Socializing is humanity's driving force, it's how humans learn and become themselves. 

But of course, animals are less weak than humans are. Humans can fall so easily for something so stupid all because they do something nice for one another. Animals only fend for themselves, they don't need happiness. Animals only need to survive, but humans must be happy in order to survive. The amount of intellect and superiority, mentally, that humans have is astounding. But of course, every good has a bad. 

There's a familiar saying, 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'. That was the plan, Akechi intended on keeping Akira very close so that when he'd bite back it would hurt so much worse. He hated how happy Akira was, especially because he was in such a shitty place yet stayed so optimistic. It felt like Akira's happiness was mocking or taunting him, so he wanted Akira to suffer for it. Akechi thought that his plan was going to be successful, he thought that he had finally become numb enough to not deal with the regrets of his plans. But because Akechi is human, that was never the case. 

Akira was just too damn kind. Akechi had told himself for as long as he could remember that 'people are worthless, getting close to them will only hurt you, it's better to only fend for yourself'. He was finally starting to lose his emotions little by little, but this boy had to ruin it for him. It took him so many years to push away all the hurt, pain, suffering, and need for love he felt. The more time he spent in this coffee shop, the more he could feel everything flooding back to him. 

He wanted to keep Akira close to him, it would be beneficial for him. Akechi could just turn on him whenever he wanted to, use him, be the adult for once. But the closer he keeps Akira, the more his warmth starts to break Akechi little by little. It all started so, so small.  Before all of this started, he hated going there, but the coffee was good and Akira worked there. He had to get close to Akira in order to make Akira care for him. 

Of course, that hate didn't last long. It slowly started to become more enjoyable, it stopped being a chore for Akechi. Eventually, Akechi started to get excited about going to see him, and that is when Akechi started to panic. He would be thinking about that boy more than anyone thinks about anything, in the morning, in the afternoon, in the night, all the time. 

He'd start to get excited when Akira texted him, his heart would start to ache in a sickeningly pleasant way when he saw Akira, he would catch himself staring at Akira when he wasn't looking, and his face would turn all different shades of red whenever Akira did anything at all. It was sickening to see himself in this light, and it was driving him insane. 

He couldn't deny that Akira was a bit of an interesting person to him, he always has been. Quiet and soft-spoken yet truly rebellious and mischievous at heart. He's neither shy nor loud, he's kind but rude, he's nothing and everything. From the moment that Akechi met Akira, he kept an eye on him. Even before he knew what group Akira was the leader of, he found himself intrigued by him. He just pulled Akechi in with his personality, but Akechi would never admit to that. It's truly a shame that Akira had to be the leader of the Phantom Thieves.

"Akechi, are you still with me?" Akira asked, waving a hand in front of Akechi's face. Akechi jumped a bit, trying his best to seem like he had been paying attention. Akechi had found himself lost in his own thoughts again, his eyes fixated on the boy playing barista. Akira smiled a little, a sad little smile. "You've been spacing out a lot today, rough day?" Akira asked, leaning down on the bar in front of them. It was gross, seeing this boy acting all worried for Akechi's sake. It disgusted Akechi, no one was supposed to feel anything for anyone, especially not for garbage like himself. It just led to weaknesses and pain. 

"Ah, no. I'm just a bit tired," Akechi remarked, his smile mimicking Akira's. "You've been saying that a lot lately, are you sure something isn't wrong?" Akira pried, a concerned look on his face. Was Akira fucking serious? Why did it matter anyway? Akira should just be looking out for himself, Akechi could handle himself just fine. He didn't need anyone's fake sympathy, it would just hold him back. The thought of his enemy making fun of him like this makes him sick to his fucking stomach. 

"No, not at all. I've just been busy trying to keep up with work and school. I'm sure you know how taxing it all can be," Akechi chuckled. It was true that Akechi had been tired a lot lately, but that's because he's spent every single night trying to talk himself out of feeling an inkling of friendliness toward Akira. "Well, don't push yourself too hard. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you," Akira explained. 

Was he being serious right now? What did it matter to him if Akechi was murdered in a back alley way? Akira really made no sense to Akechi at all. He always looked so damn happy all the time but he lives in a fucking attic while serving coffee to bitchy costumers. What was Akechi missing that made Akira so damn happy? Why did Akechi crave that happiness so badly? No, ever since Akira came around, that's when Akechi started to long for happiness. Or maybe he's always wanted to be happy, but has always pushed those feelings away because he refuses to be weak. Maybe there's a lot of things he wants, but showing that will make him weak. 

"That's very kind if you to say, but I assure you that I'm alright," Akechi stated. "Still, I can't help but worry about you when you look like that. Your dark circles are darker than my hair, and it seems like you've only drank coffee for three days straight. If something is wrong, you can tell me you know," Akira spoke, his tone soothing. It made Akechi shudder, no one should be worrying for Akechi yet here he is showing concern for him. Akechi couldn't tell if he wanted to laugh in his face, or cry. 

Akechi was starting to feel really shitty. Akira's kindness was just...getting to him. Why would someone like Akira act kindly toward someone as trash as Akechi? Akechi was worthless and he knew that, no matter how much he didn't want to admit it. If Akira's kindness is fake, and it's all just a ploy to get Akechi in his own little scheme, then why Akechi? Even if his kindness is real, that leaves him with the same question. He knew how worthless he was, he was reminded so many times throughout his life. Nothing Akira does makes any sense to Akechi. All these feelings that Akechi hadn't felt in so long were starting to make him panic. He can't lose all the hard work he's put in to pushing his feelings away, he can't lose to someone who has a criminal record. 

"I should get going, it's starting to become dark outside," Akechi stumbled. He needed to get out of that coffee shop, this boy was showing concern for Akechi and he didn't know how to handle it. Akechi could feel something swelling in his chest, and it made him feel sick. Were these the feelings he had missed out on for so many years? What is this feeling that he is unaccustomed to? It's something that Akechi couldn't say he's experienced before.

Akechi started to gather the objects he brought with him. He was starting to panic, something was happening inside his body that he needed to deal with by himself. Akechi had read about this before, this weird feeling inside of himself. All the symptoms he was feeling now, they're just as he read before. If he was being honest, he thought that this feeling was a myth made by hopeless people. He needed to be alone, he needed to get rid of these feelings as fast as he can. If he stayed any longer, then Akira might just find out what Akechi has been feeling for a while now. If Akira was to find out what Akechi's weakness was then it would be game over. No, Akechi refuses to lose. It's not too late to save himself from this. 

"Akechi wait," Akira exclaimed, stepping out from the bar. "It's late, I don't want to miss my train back home," Akechi retorted. He knew that the trains weren't coming for a while, but this conversation was making Akechi feel...unsafe. He could feel his emotions starting to spill into him once again, and he would not allow that to happen to him. He needed to become powerful, he needed to lose all his weaknesses so he would never hurt again. This boy is just a damn weakness. 

"You won't, it's not that late. Come sit at the booth with me, I want to talk to you," Akira offered, already making his way to a booth in the center. Akechi really shouldn't, but it felt as if his body was moving on it's own. Akechi knew what was best for himself, but then why was every fiber in his body rejecting what his brain told him to do? He sat right across from Akira, and if Akechi had to admit, the seat was quite comfy. He could fall asleep right there if he really wanted to, all these countless days of little sleep was really taking a toll on him. Ever since Akira came around, he's just been too damn stressed to sleep. But now that he's here right now, he's starting to feel sleepy. 

"What's wrong Akechi?" Akira questioned, crossing his legs under the table. He looked so intense, he made Akechi just a bit more uncomfortable. It almost felt like he was some sort of therapist trying to pull apart his brain. Akechi couldn't wrap his head around why Akira is doing all of this for him. Showing this much kindness, this much weakness, there was no point. Unless he had alternate motives, but Akechi just couldn't bring himself to truly believe that hypothesis, he didn't want to believe it.

"I told you, I'm just busy. I don't know what you want me to say," Akechi laughed, but he really didn't feel like laughing at all. Akira pressing him like this, it made him very uncomfortable. That vulnerability that came with this whole situation made Akechi sick to his stomach, and he just wanted it to stop. "I don't believe you," Akira stated firmly, making Akechi's stomach drop. The way he said it, he sounded so stern and harsh which is extremely uncharacteristic. Why did Akira care about digging into Akechi's problems this fucking much? 

"What?" Akechi sputtered. "If you're so busy, then why do you waste time drinking coffee around here so much?" Akira interrogated. Akechi gulped, he was really starting to panic. He caught him in a corner, and Akechi didn't know what to do. He was starting to feel very...panicked. His heart was starting to do funny things, not so good things. It felt like...heart palpitations. It hurt a lot, and Akechi just wanted it to stop. 

Was Akechi starting to slip, or was Akira just clever? No one has ever really caught onto Akechi and what he was thinking, so how did this criminal know him and his thoughts? It's these damn emotions, they're weakening him. Before all of this started, it was so easy to just play the role of the easy-going young man who played detective. But now this lowlife stepped into Akechi's life, and everything he worked so hard for is destroyed in mere minutes. It was really unfair of Akira, how was he able to do this? Akechi really hated him, hated him more than anything. He hated what Akira did to him and his progress. 

"I..." Akechi choked, but nothing he wanted to say came out. He could feel his breathing starting to increase in speed. Why was he feeling so...antsy? He wanted to get up and move around, this close examination was really messing with his head. He wanted to just believe that everything was okay, that his emotionlessness was still in tact but the more time that passes the more it disappears. 

It was just a terrible feeling. It wasn't pain or hurt, the feelings that Akechi was most accustomed to. The feeling was so strong that he could physically feel it. "I-I..." Akechi coughed out, but he could feel his mouth growing dry. What was happening to his body? It was just so fucking stressful, all of this! He just wanted to curl into himself and block out the entire world. He wanted to get up and move around, walk this intense feeling off. He wanted to cry out everything he was feeling. He wanted to speak what he was feeling, he wanted to sew his mouth shut, he wanted to die, he wanted to win, he wanted happiness, he wanted Akira's acknowledgment. 

Akira's acknowledgment? Happiness? Feelings?! He wanted all of that far away from him! So then why did he still crave it so badly?! It's like he became addicted to what he never even had! It was so sickening that he just wanted to fucking cry, but if he were to cry then that would mean that he would no longer be numb. Why are his hands shaking so fucking much?! Why can't he make himself stay still, where did his acting skills go?! 

"Akechi? Are you..." Akira mumbled, raising his hand slowly. Akechi was really going crazy, wasn't he? It felt like someone was choking him, but only a crazy person would feel like that right? Why was his head hurting so much? Why can't he just control himself?! Why can't he just calm the hell down?! He was exposing his weaknesses to the enemy of all people, Akechi must really be insane. He has to get out of here, or else things will really turn for the worse. 

Akechi couldn't even choke out a goodbye, he'll have to apologize later. He started to stand from his seat, but found himself unable to hold himself up. His head was starting to spin, when did the coffee shop start to move? It felt like he had been spinning around and just stopped, but his brain was still moving. He was dizzy for no reason. Maybe it was because of his uncontrollable breathing. Why does he lack so much fucking control when he needs it the most right now?

"Akechi, don't hurt yourself!" Akira shouted, getting up from the booth and grabbing Akechi's shoulders tightly. "You need to sit down, you're having a panic attack. You're not alone, I'm right here Akechi," Akira continued. He-he's not alone. He's not alone. He's not alone. Those words were echoing throughout his mind, they made him so...happy. 

He felt something wet starting to drip down his cheeks. What- what was happening to him? A panic attack? And now he's...he's really crying. He really lost, he really lost after all. He hadn't cried in so long, it felt so foreign to him. "Alone...I'm not- I'm not- alone- not-" Akechi spluttered, he sounded like a broken toy. This was so unlike him, sniveling like the child he never wanted to be. "You're not alone Akechi, you never will be again. But I need you to calm down and take some deep breaths," Akira soothed. 

Akech did as he was told, sort of. His breaths kept coming out in short bursts no matter how hard he tried. But after a couple tries, he could feel his breathing starting to stable. It was almost kind of laughable. Akechi always praised himself for his amazing diversity in character, but Akira just went from stern to soft spoken all because the situation required a change. Akira really is...amazing. He's amazing, and no matter how much Akechi hates to admit it he can't deny it. He can't deny what he's been feeling for Akira all along. 

"I-Akira..." Akechi breathed out, but he couldn't find the right words to say. His eyes were starting to sting just a little, but his headache was starting to subside. "It's okay, talk when you need to. I'm sorry I pushed you to talk," Akira muttered, placing a hand on Akechi's head. This concern that Akira showed Akechi, he just apologized for trying to help because it made Akechi uncomfortable. How could someone this great show someone like Akechi this must care? He really didn't deserve this at all. 

"I just...can't take it anymore," Akechi mumbled. He looked down, he didn't want Akira to look at him like this, it was embarrassing for him. "What do you mean?" Akira questioned. Akechi sighed, "You. You did this...". Akira stepped back a bit after hearing that, and it made Akechi's heart sink. No, he didn't want Akira to do that! He didn't mean it like that! "I'm sorry," Akira sighed, "if you want to go you can. I didn't mean to upset you, I just wanted to help". 

Akechi wanted to cry again, it was so unfair. Akira was so kind, he really deserved so much better than what he got. He was stuck here comforting someone useless, being punished for being a good person. That's how the world works, doesn't it? He didn't want to admit it, but he really wanted Akira to stand closer to him. He didn't want to admit it, but he really liked Akira's company. He didn't want to admit it, but he loved his smile, his laugh, his eyes, his hair, his personality, his everything. He didn't want to admit it, but he really loved Akira. 

"No- you did this, so fix your mistake. Fix what you did to me and my heart, I can't take it anymore. I stay up all the time at night thinking about you and I hate it. I hate you so much. I like spending time with you more than anything, but you make me feel things I hate. I haven't felt anything in so long yet here you are making me feel everything. I hate it. I hate what you've done to my head, my heart, my body. I hate your kindness, your kind words that make me so happy. I hate when you look at others because I want to be the only one you look at. I hate that I don't make you happy at all. I hate everything about you and what you do to me," Akechi confessed. He really sounded like a child and he hated it, but he couldn't help himself. He barely even realized what he was saying, he was just letting his feelings pour out.

He finally looked up to meet Akira's gaze and he can't say he was disappointed. Akira looked shocked and red in the face. Oh crap, he probably said something stupid didn't he? Damn him and his stupid childishness, why can't he just go back to acting like an adult like he's supposed to? "I..." Akira chuckled a bit, "Oh God, now I'm the one who can't talk". Akechi couldn't help but smile at him, but this smile didn't hurt. Whenever he smiled, it always felt so painful to him physically and mentally. But now...it was such a refreshing feeling. Feelings...huh, maybe they're not so bad after all. 

"Akechi, I- well-...I've never really confessed before. But...I-hm..." Akira stumbled. Watching someone like Akira acting in this way made Akechi want to just laugh. Laugh, that's something Akechi hasn't wanted to do in a long time. But still, it was cute watching Akira fumble with his words. It was a strange sight too, Akechi wanted to preserve it forever if he could. 

Akira stepped closer to Akechi and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. It made Akechi shudder at first, but he quickly got used to the feeling. This closeness, this warmth...it was so refreshing. He felt blissful, he felt really happy. Maybe feeling this way really wasn't so bad after all. "Akechi, you're never alone. I'm always on your side, okay?" Akira beamed. 

Akechi wrapped his arms around Akira as well, pulling him closer to him. "I'm glad," Akechi mumbled. It was somewhat laughable, seeing himself act like an idiot. He's never acted like this around anyone, but it was kind of nice. Knowing that someone really cared for him, knowing that someone really needed him. He's never felt wanted or needed before in his life, but here Akira was, giving him all the attention he's craved. If he was going to be honest, he was practically starving for Akira's attention. Of course, he would never admit that to Akira. 

"Akechi, I want you to stick around, okay?" Akira whispered quietly, so quiet that Akechi could barely hear him at all. This vulnerability that Akira showed him, it really made Akechi feel happy. He felt so happy right now, right in this moment. He wasn't sure how long the two of them were going to last like this, nor was he sure where this day was going to take them from here on. But still, Akira wants him to stick around, he wants him. Knowing that, Akechi has never felt this blissful in his entire life. Akechi had no right to deny Akira's request. 

A companion, a teammate, a friend, and maybe even something else. Whatever they were, they were close. Akechi would never admit it, but he was starting to really like it. Akira had been so kind to him tonight that he wanted to repay his kindness. But his plan...it doesn't really matter does it? Akechi could cross that bridge once it comes. He has gone so many years without kindness, so getting a refill won't be too bad of an idea. 

Just for tonight, he could feel what he's always felt for his enemy. That feeling is not hatred, but in fact the exact opposite. 


End file.
